Akbar Birbal - Part I

Ek baar, Akbar ke darbar mein ek randi ne mujra kiya. Woh badi hi KANTEELI NACHANIYA thi. Itni zor se naachi ke sabke tatte short ho gaye. Akbar bahut khush ho gaya. Usne randi ko kaha, 'Jamnabai, bol tujhe kya inaam chahiye meri jaan? Sona-chandi, heere-moti, jaageer.... kya chahiye, bol. Agar teri kisise dushmani ho to bhi bataa de......uski behen chod di jayegi.'

Randi bahut khush hui muh maange inaam ki baat sunke. Par woh bahut hi bhenchod kism ki aurat thi. Uske gandu dimaag mein to kuch aur hi tha. Woh Akbar se boli, 'Jahanpanah, jaan ki salaamat mile to kuch arz karoon'. Akbar waise hi uske naach pe bahut senti tha. Woh bola, 'Jo marzi maang, Jamna darling.' Randi boli, Jahanpanah, mujhe aapki raajgadhi pe tatti karni hai.'

Ek baar to Akbar ko samajh hi nahin aaya ki kya yeh randi BAWLI GAAND to nahin ho gayi? Lekin woh manaa bhi nahin kar sakta tha....promise jo kar diya tha. Usne randi ko kuch aur maangne ke liye ! kaha, par randi bhi bahut seasoned campaigner thi.... woh nahin maani. Akbar bhi bechara kya karta, usne 15 din baad ki date dedi. Usne socha ki baad mein randi pe pressure dalwa ke cancel karwa dega, par bhen ki laudi maan ke nahin deti thi.

Jab Tatti-day nazdeek aa gaya, Akbar ki gaand bahut zyaada phat gayi....usne us waqt Birbal ko yaad kiya. Usne Birbal se kaha ki ab mughal sultanat ki izzat usi ke haath mein hai. Birbal ne bhi Akbar ko promise kar diya ki chaahe use apni maa gali -gali, chudwaani pade, woh mughal sultanat ki izzat pe aanch nahin aane dega. Akbar bhi nischint ho gaya.

Finally Tatti-day aa gaya. Akbar to raat bhar so bhi nahin saka. Bhenchod ki khud ki tatti band ho gayi. Subah - subah randi ne darbaar mein grand entrance maara. Kehne lagi, 'Jahanpanah, main teen din se nahin hagi hoon... jaldi se raajgaddi pe haggi maarne ki vyawastha kijiye.' Akbar ne phatti gaand ke saath Birbal ki taraf dekha. Birbal to bhen ka lauda hasi has raha tha. Apni seat se khada hua aur bola, 'Jamnabai, tone tatti karne ki demand ki thi....so karo. Lekin agar ek boond bhi moot nikal aaya to yeh talwaar choot mein ghusa ke gaand se nikaal doonga.'

Randi ko samajh aa gayaki is baar uska paala kisi andu pandu se nahin, Birbal se pada hai. Bhosadiki chup - chaap gaand uthaye ghar chali gayi. Ek baar phir birbal the great bahen ke lode ne mughal saltanet ke gaand phatne se bacha li...