A Punjabi Sardar and a Bengali Babu

A Punjabi Sardar and a Bengali Babu
were talking about their State's patriotic history
during the freedom struggle.

The debate heated up and both ended up claiming that
their state had the maximum number of freedom fighters.

They finally agreed on a method to find
which of the states had more freedom fighters.

Each person would say the name of a freedom fighter
from his state and pull one hair out of his opponents head.

Both of them began earnestly. "Bhagat Singh" said the Sardar
and pulled one hair from the Bengali.

"Netaji" said the Bengali and did the same.
They continued like this for some time,
but soon exhausted all known freedom fighters.

The Bengali, however, was very clever.
He used Sardar's ignorance and reeled off a lot of imaginary names.

The Punjabi was stuck.

He did not know any more Punjabi freedom fighter's name.

He thought deeply for a moment,
jumped on the Bengali's head
and pulled all his hair out shouting -





"JallianWala Bagh".

Santa and Banta

Santa standing on platform
suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard
train is coming on platform?

A farmer and his wife

A farmer and his wife went to a fair.
The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes
and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.
"$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.

"That's too much," said the farmer.

The pilot thought for a second and then said,
"I'll make you a deal.
If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes
without uttering a sound,
the ride will be free.
But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10."

The farmer and his wife agreed and went
for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer,
"I want to congratulate you
for not making a sound. You are a brave man."

"Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya,
I almost screamed when my wife fell out.

Makes rhymes

good one'z;)

@tp
A grade 5 teacher one day asked the children in her class to make rhymes with their names. First up was Dan. A very adventurous child.
"My name is Dan,
When I grow up to be a man,
I want to go to India and Japan ,
If I can, If I can, If I can.

" "Very good", the teacher said to Dan. She then asked Sally that it was now her turn.
"My name is Sally,
When I grow up to be a lady,
I want to have a baby
If I can, if I can, if I can.

" "That is good Sally," the teacher said. "But maybe one day you will change your mind." Next up was Glenn. He was the naughty one in the class. Here is his rhyme:
"My name is Glenn,
When I grow up to be a man,
Never mind India and Japan ,
I'm gonna help Sally with her plan,
I know I can, I can, I can. " :P :D

Stages of Man. ..

Stages of Man. ..

Stages of Man. ..




Before Finding a Girl - *Spiderman.... *









After Finding his Girl - *Superman....*











After the Engagement - *Gentleman.... *










After the Marriage - *Watchman....*















10 years After Marriage -*Doberman*.

a=b b=c a=c

a=b b=c a=c
Math Teacher: If a=b and b=c then a=c, now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.
Student: i love u sir and u love ur daughter which means i love ur daughter.

IRS

At the end of the tax year the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles.
What do you do with the candle drippings?"

"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these bread wafer purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they
send us a free box of bread-wafers."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste, "answered the Rabbi."

What we do is save all the foreskins and send them to the tax office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."

Anna Lost His Husband

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.
Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom! I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont Their first night there, she undressed as he did.
There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit.
Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?" She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."
He knew he was not getting lucky that night. The following night was the same–she stood there wearing the black panties, and he was in his birthday suit–but now he was wearing a black condom.
She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"
He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."